I was reaching out to other autism sites today. I found a lot
of common themes: frustration, fear, loneliness, confusion, anger, and regret.
Of course, you anticipate that when meeting people who face a challenge like
autism.
What I was not surprised to see, though, was the love, adoration, hope, joy, and pride in their children. Not surprised at all.
I feel all of those emotions every day, the good and the bad. I feel no shame over my acceptance of my weaknesses because I am proud of them. They show me that I am not just human, but open to the array of internal conflict that comes with the territory. That openness brings me closer to my daughter: my fear, my anxiety, my elation, my joy are equally valid and equally important in my evolution as a father.
I cry. I tell myself it's ok to cry.
I cry when I'm sad and I cry when I'm happy. My wife elbows me in the ribs and, with a grin, calls me a big baby, but I am proud of myself because I am comfortable with the fact that my daughter is important enough to me to be able to cry.
What I was not surprised to see, though, was the love, adoration, hope, joy, and pride in their children. Not surprised at all.
I feel all of those emotions every day, the good and the bad. I feel no shame over my acceptance of my weaknesses because I am proud of them. They show me that I am not just human, but open to the array of internal conflict that comes with the territory. That openness brings me closer to my daughter: my fear, my anxiety, my elation, my joy are equally valid and equally important in my evolution as a father.
I cry. I tell myself it's ok to cry.
I cry when I'm sad and I cry when I'm happy. My wife elbows me in the ribs and, with a grin, calls me a big baby, but I am proud of myself because I am comfortable with the fact that my daughter is important enough to me to be able to cry.
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