Frustration is normal...at least that's what I'm told.
It's funny, I never feel normal when I am frustrated. I feel out of balance, out of sorts and somewhat out of control of my emotional state. I suppose 'typical' is a more accurate word, but, if I only get frustrated in a-typical situations, does it really qualify?
Of course, I have as many (if not more) frustrated moments with my typically developing son as I do with my autistic daughter, but the style and situations are very different. When I first considered being a parent, I knew the challenges it would bring and those are the ones I face with my son: acting out, need for attention, pushing boundaries, etc.
What I never expected was limited interaction, lack of focus and attention, lack of environmental awareness, sensory sensitivities, and a delay in speech, motor skills, and social skills.
I just assumed my child wouldn't have those challenges. I was banking on being able to communicate, to reason, to negotiate.
That was my assumption. Never a good way to start a relationship...
So, when I find myself frustrated, I go back to my assumptions and ask myself whether I am frustrated because I assumed it would be easier to communicate, to reason, to talk things through. If so, I take a deep breath, let go of my assumptions and begin again.
It's not always easy, but it puts things in the right perspective.
It's funny, I never feel normal when I am frustrated. I feel out of balance, out of sorts and somewhat out of control of my emotional state. I suppose 'typical' is a more accurate word, but, if I only get frustrated in a-typical situations, does it really qualify?
Of course, I have as many (if not more) frustrated moments with my typically developing son as I do with my autistic daughter, but the style and situations are very different. When I first considered being a parent, I knew the challenges it would bring and those are the ones I face with my son: acting out, need for attention, pushing boundaries, etc.
What I never expected was limited interaction, lack of focus and attention, lack of environmental awareness, sensory sensitivities, and a delay in speech, motor skills, and social skills.
I just assumed my child wouldn't have those challenges. I was banking on being able to communicate, to reason, to negotiate.
That was my assumption. Never a good way to start a relationship...
So, when I find myself frustrated, I go back to my assumptions and ask myself whether I am frustrated because I assumed it would be easier to communicate, to reason, to talk things through. If so, I take a deep breath, let go of my assumptions and begin again.
It's not always easy, but it puts things in the right perspective.
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